Subeeriority complex

9 05 2011

Resolutely standing my ground in the face of my friend’s accusations that I was attempting to compensate for something, Saturday evening saw the materialisation – and subsequent and steady dematerialisation – of two rather large vessels of beer. I couldn’t say no to a 1.5L bottle of Grolsch for $10 at Dan Murphy, nor can I ever fail to say yes to the trusty 1L can of Asahi Super Dry (a.k.a The Silver Dove, The Silver Bullet Mortar), also $10, from a small grocery and liquor store in Hawthorn.

See that bottle of Strongbow Clear? That's how I sometimes feel when I'm at that beefcake bodybuilding gym down the road.

I decided to carry the empty bottle of Grolsch home in the reluctant expectation of wielding it as an implement for bludgeoning any one of the assortment of contemptible aberrations that populate Chapel Street on a Saturday night (I don’t know why we focus so much on environmental pollution; fixing social pollution would solve a multitude of problems), with the peripheral thought of perhaps re-using the bottle for some sort of alcoholic concoction in the future.

Also – been worrying about your excessive alcohol intake recently? Worry no more! Have a look at Why Intelligent People Drink More Alcohol at the Psychology Today website. Now, if only a raised intelligence was a side-effect of alcohol, then there might not be so many tossbags out on Chapel Street on the weekends. Or, instead of playing excruciatingly shitty dance music whilst doing their laps up and down the street, they’d at least be blasting out audiobooks of Thomas Paine, Stephen Hawking and Charles Darwin.